


Talking About Love

by Lovelyziam



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [14]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 14:30:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyziam/pseuds/Lovelyziam
Summary: “I’m sorry, Zayn,” Liam whispered. “I tried really hard not to—tried to talk myself out of it so many fucking times, but…” Liam trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut before continuing. “But it’s really hard to control myself when it comes to you.”





	Talking About Love

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt (and me!) [here](https://lovlieziam.tumblr.com/post/185877716941/oooh-can-i-ask-for-27-and-obviously-ziam) :)

“Liam?” Zayn murmured, letting his head drop against the bathroom door with a soft _thump._ Zayn had been hesitant to approach Liam, especially considering how upset the boy was right now.

“I’m fine, Zayn. You don’t have to check up on me,” came Liam’s muffled reply. And maybe Zayn didn’t have to check up on Liam, but he _wanted_ to. Liam had been weird lately—closed off from Zayn in a way he had never been. It made Zayn think that _he_ was the reason for Liam’s bad mood, and Zayn couldn’t deal with that.

“Maybe not,” Zayn said. “But I want to.” Zayn waited a beat with no response before saying, “C’mon, Li. You know I won’t go away until you at least let me in. Are you really going to make me start being a brat so early in the night?”

There was a long moment of silence following Zayn’s words, and Zayn was just gearing up to start annoying Liam when the door swung open, causing Zayn to stumble forward a little. Liam was stood in the doorway, an annoyed, but still fond look gracing his features.

“You’re already a brat. I don’t know what you mean by ‘start’.”

Zayn grinned, shoving Liam back into the room before closing the door behind him. “Alright,” he started. “Spill. What’s up? Why have we locked ourselves in the bathroom?”

Liam rolled his eyes as he sad down on the closed toilet lid. “ _We_ haven’t locked ourselves in anywhere. _I_ locked myself in the bathroom and you annoyed your way in.”

Zayn grinned, throwing a shrug Liam’s way before he moved into a crouch by Liam’s knees.

“Seriously, though, Li. What’s up? You’ve been, um, rather…emotional lately.” Zayn winced after the words left his mouth. He’d _wanted_ to be delicate when talking to Liam—the boy _had_ been emotional recently; there were some days where Zayn was pretty sure he’d gotten whip lash from Liam’s mood swings—but based on the glare Liam was throwing his way, Zayn definitely could’ve chosen his words better. “I-I just mean, not that you’ve been moody! Because that isn’t what I meant, like, at all! I was just saying that you’ve seemed, I don’t know? Upset, I guess? And I just wanted you to know that I was here, if you wanted talk about anything, y’know? Because I can tell you’ve been upset the last couple of weeks.”

 Zayn took a breath, also taking that moment to take in Liam’s expression. He had an eyebrow lifted, looking at Zayn with a slight curve to his lips that wasn’t necessarily a smile, but also wasn’t _not_ a smile. Zayn got the distinct impression that he was being made fun of for his rambling.

“I’m not upset, Zayn.” Zayn nodded at Liam’s words, his mind already starting up a rambling, incoherent thought process.

“Okay, so maybe upset isn’t the right word. But you haven’t been happy, have you? I mean, you haven’t been not happy this whole time, obviously, there’s been happy moments. I’m not trying to saying you’ve been in a permanent bad mood, just like more so recently then before. Not that you’re not, y’know, entitled to be in a bad mood every once in a while! Because you totally are! It’s just, I was kind of hoping you’d maybe…tell me why you’ve been so…hormonal?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Zayn regretted them. Had he just called Liam hormonal? Out loud? What was wrong with him?

Liam’s eyebrows shot up, surprise—and, Zayn hoped, a hint of amusement?—quickly covering his features. Zayn was so caught up in his own misery—seriously, _why_ had he said that?—that he didn’t noticed the teasing glint twinkling in Liam’s eyes.

“Have you thought of the possibility that maybe…” Liam trailed off, making sure he was meeting Zayn’s eyes before he said, “I’m pregnant?”

Zayn barely even registered Liam’s words, too focused on trying to be understanding and forget about what he’d just said to properly think them through. “I wasn’t sure what was going on, Li. But if that’s what bothering you, that’s perfectly reasonable, and of course if you—”

“Zayn.”

“—wanna talk about it, I’m always here, okay? I mean I know you’re—”

“ _Zayn._ ”

“—used to dealing with things—wait,” Zayn cut himself off, Liam’s words from before finally registering. Zayn forced himself out of his own head, once again focusing on Liam and his words. “Pregnant?” And okay, so maybe it wasn’t _quite_ as elegant and coherent as he would’ve liked, but his brain was still trying to switch from trying to be supportive to actually understanding what Liam was telling him. It was difficult, especially since he was starting to think he _hadn’t_ been listening to Liam.

“Pregnant?” Zayn asked again. He felt it needed repeating because _what_? Liam was a guy, he couldn’t even _get_ pregnant.

Zayn watched as Liam’s lips twitched upwards, obviously fighting off a smile that was so eager to take over his face. Zayn was still confused for all of five seconds until it finally hit him.

“You’re a dick,” Zayn gasped out, lunging forward to shove at Liam’s shoulder. Liam broke into a series of giggles, and despite Liam’s teasing, Zayn couldn’t help but feel a little relieved as a few of his own spilled past his lips. It felt like this was the first time he’d seen Liam laugh in _weeks_. That might have been a _slight_ exaggeration, but, honestly, Liam really hadn’t been himself recently, and the fact that he turned to humor before actually admitting what was wrong was only further proof of this.

“Seriously, Li,” Zayn started, his voice soft but serious. The smile slowly dropped off Liam’s face at Zayn’s tone, and Zayn felt his own heart drop a little at the look now on Liam’s face. Liam did a good job of hiding his emotions, but even Zayn could see the resigned and slightly dejected look he couldn’t quite mask. Zayn soldiered on, anyway. He was tired of Liam pushing him away; he just wanted his friend back. “What’s been bothering you?”

Liam heaved out a sigh, running a hand over his face before roughly shoving it through his hair.

 “I’m sorry, Zayn,” Liam whispered. “I tried really hard not to—tried to talk myself out of it so many fucking times, but…” Liam trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut before continuing. “But it’s really hard to control myself when it comes to you.”

Zayn made a soft noise in the back of his throat, his confusion only increasing at Liam’s explanation. Some how _Zayn_ was the cause of Liam’s permanent bad mood, and that made an uncomfortable weight settle in the bottom of Zayn’s stomach.

“Li…what are you talking about?” Zayn tried to swallow around the lump that was quickly growing in his throat. Zayn wasn’t sure where this little heart to heart was heading, but his mind was setting off warning bells of _bad bad bad_. It wasn’t helping that the more he thought about Liam’s words—the more he tried to piece them together, connect them to Liam’s mood and his actions—the more confused he got.

Liam opened his eyes, meeting Zayn’s gaze head on, and the sadness in them almost bowled Zayn over.

 _Fuck_ , Zayn thought. It was the only word he could think of in that moment.

“I’m talking about falling in love with you, Z.” Liam gave a short, bitter laugh to match the sad twist of his mouth, and Zayn felt all the breath leave his lungs in one harsh exhale. “I’m talking about telling myself how fucking _stupid_ it was to go and fall in love with my best friend, all the while knowing that he’d never love me back. I’m talking about not being able to stop my stupid fucking heart from stuttering in my chest every time you so much as look at me.” Liam took a deep, shuddering breath, lowering his eyes until he was staring at the floor next to Zayn’s knees. “I’m talking about trying desperately hard to try and control my feelings by pushing you away, hoping maybe that would make them…I don’t know. Not disappear, but maybe…lessen? Make them more manageable, at least. Manageable enough that I wouldn’t be overcome with an all-consuming want to kiss you every time you fucking laughed at one of my jokes.”

Liam let out another self-depreciating laugh, bringing both of his hands up to drop his face into. Zayn still couldn’t catch his damn breath. He felt like all the oxygen in the room was being sucked out, preventing him from just _breathing_. And, well, breathing was kinda something he needed to do.

“I’m sorry,” Liam croaked out, his voice impossibly heart broken and ashamed. Just like that, the oxygen seemed to slam back into Zayn’s lungs, and he inhaled a deep breath, his lungs burning as they expanded.

Liam loved him. Liam was _in love with him._ Zayn didn’t think he’d ever been happier in his life.

“Liam,” Zayn gasped, surging forward to close the space between them. “Li, sweetheart, look at me please.” He reached out, pulling Liam’s hands away from his face and tucking them between his own, intertwining their fingers in a way the was decidedly intimate.

Liam finally opened his eyes, staring at their joined hands for a moment before looking up into Zayn’s eyes. His expression was still shuttered, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. Zayn’s heart cracked at that expression.

“Li, baby, you’re so, so wrong.” Zayn unwound one of his hands, reaching up to brush the hair off of Liam’s forehead so he could see him better. “It wasn’t stupid to fall in love with me, just stupid to think that I’d never love you back. Because I do. Love you. So much it makes _me_ stupid sometimes.”

It was Zayn’s turn to let out a small, self-depreciating laugh, and Liam’s to breathe out a long, shuddering breath. Liam’s hands tightened around Zayn’s, a disbelieving laugh escaping on his next exhale.

“You’re…you’re serious?” Liam asked.

“Completely, Li.” Zayn had barely gotten the words out before he had a lapful of a giddy, giggling Liam.

“Thank God.”


End file.
